As a culture we tend to be concerned about how sex violence and alcohol assumption as presented in television and film may impact our children. The thing is there’s a clear choice to these things. If you go to a party you risk exposure to what may happen there. If you engage in violence -anything from gang activity and war to a bar fight - you know the risks. Sex too has clear indicators of what it may lead to. Kids know these things. Then there is fantasy. Clear fiction of heroes and villains that give enough lessons to take into our world without expecting that it will play out the same way. For me the real confusion as a child was the family friendly content. It makes it seem so normal to have one kind of family. And all of the problems somehow just magically sort themselves out. But how many children actually live in the middle class suburban fantasy land that gets presented as absolute truth? All it does it make kids feel like their family and friends and life in general are falling short. We don’t know how to process pain because we expect the end results to magically sort themselves out.
I thought for sure some magical hero of a man would walk into our lives and make it even better than it had previously been. At one point my friends and I even tried to set my mom up with our single teacher (sorry Mr. Murray!). Yet somehow it was never as easy as the media made it out to be. The pieces never came together, and because so many of those stories involve the children bringing people together, I somehow felt like it was my own fault and I had failed. Interestingly enough I never once felt like it was my fault my father left. It was simply my fault I couldn’t pick up the pieces enough to glue a new family together and solve my mom’s pain. The thing is though, it was never my pain to solve. And quite frankly she shouldn’t be with anyone. She has far too much healing to do before her presence might enhance anyone’s life rather than be a detriment to it. Nonetheless these images in the media caused me to feel like I was somehow missing the mark on my calling. Where is the questioning and skepticism on what this does to children whose families don’t check the boxes of the ideals we portray? Have we ever considered how much more damage this does than a fantasy film full of fighting that is so far from reality we know it to be a world on its own? This impossible gold standard family is rare. How many of us could say we tik every single box on the list of requirements? Few and far between. Where is the representation of a normal broken home that never needs fixing? Why can’t they build a new life solo without adding additions? Just some thoughts I had today as my roommate continues to watch the Hallmark channel and some young girl works to bring her father together with a latest caretaker, or maybe its some kind of arts instructor… dance? music? Who can tell. Eventually all these films fade into one another. They’re just as much a fantasy as sci fi and yet we wrap them up to look like reality and say they are the best wholesome family entertainment. The devil doesn’t lie blatantly, but rather wraps up falsehood to present it like truth. Blatant lies are easy to spot. It is the subtlety that causes the most toxicity. So sure go ahead call it wholesome family entertainment. It is the biggest lie there is and the most dangerous content we have. If I ever have kids we will watch all kinds of things that allow us to have clear debriefs afterwards and unwrap the Hollywood “magic” that creates the fantasy. Because in the end all film is fantasy. It’s best we never forget that.
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Life Coach Practitioner Katelyn Townsend helps individuals like you build enriched lives full of joy. Archives
December 2022
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